Finding My Groove

I had a very productive day in the studio today. Lately its been a struggle there, and I've often felt like I wasn't accomplishing much of anything except spinning my wheels. Over the past few months my studio practice was sporadic and rarely was I privileged with back to back sessions like I've had this week. Time was usually short and I would head to the studio just to tackle a specific task; stretch and prime this canvas, transfer that drawing, or cut down that piece of wood. Needless to say, there are quite a few projects started and not too many completed.

When I look back at some of my most recent sessions I can take note that I wasn't particularly motivated and I was usually too exhausted to give it my all. Even when I did feel well rested and had an entire day to spend in the studio, I would get there and it didn't feel right. I would haphazardly start work on a painting and nothing would come of it. I've continued to produce, but not at the level that I expect to. To a certain degree, I was out of practice and by the time I got going it was time to wrap it up. After that it was usually an entire week would pass before I would be able to devote a significant chunk of time to continue working, and by that time there would be something else clamoring for my attention.

Today was different. It was the third straight day that I was in the studio, and the second of which I was able to devote an entire day! Earlier in the week I was able to put in a couple of 3 or 4 hour sessions, and yesterday I put in about 6 to 7 hour session. Today I put in close to 9 hours! What a great feeling. After weeks of frustration, it truly feels like I'm finding my groove again.

What is Painting?

This question has haunted me lately. I'm trying to determine where I stand, but I do not know where this conversation is taking place. I walk through the Museums and I see what painting once was. A stroll through the galleries gives me a sense of the market, as well as what is in fashion. Then I see the paintings hung in cafes, art fairs, and sold on the internet, and I see a version of what the public consumes as art. I look at the art periodicals and I am baffled by the language, which is clearly driven by intellectuals purely for the sake of intellectualism. Each time I venture out, I end up feeling disappointed and I return to the studio.

I am looking for painting as a practice and how it relates to art production. I am looking for critical discourse. I am looking for new challenges within the medium. I want to know the dialog around contemporary painting and where I can join in. Are there current issues in painting? If so, what are they, and who says so?

Transition

This past Friday was my last day of work at Blick, and I have spent the last few days acclimating myself with my new life. My biggest concern is making adequate use of my time, and not wasting it by sleeping in or surfing the internet all day. On the flip-side, I do not want to try to be super-productive and cram my day full of a million projects either. My goal is to ease myself into this process and not attempt to tackle too much too soon. The reason I took this leap was because I was feeling burnt out and that I no longer had control over my life, and I would like to avoid feeling that way again.

I have made it a point to wake up earlier in the morning at 7:30 a.m. even though I do not have to be at Street Level until Noon. I'm attempting to get a jump on my day so I do not feel like I am rushing around, which I most definitely would be if I chose to sleep until 10:30 or 11 a.m.(it is very tempting though). It means I can truly eat breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. It also means I can have time to read and write, and even have time to throw a load of laundry in. At some point I am even thinking about starting to run again, which is something I have not done in years. I am using this opportunity to structure my life as I would like to live it.

As my routine emerges, each area of my life will find a place. The biggest impact will be on my studio practice. I am not sure exactly how it is going to work itself out, but it is looking like I will be doubling and even tripling the amount of studio time I used to have. This is both exciting and terrifying. I have always looked at my artistic career and always sighed the sigh of,"if only I had more time in the studio I would do this..." Now that I have the time, it is a sort of shock to my system and it almost doesn't feel real. I have two consecutive days scheduled entirely for the studio, and I also have several smaller time blocks figured in on days that I have other commitments. This means I can really begin to focus on what I want to do, rather than on the bare minimum of what needs to be done right now! This is a great feeling and I look forward to watching the results.